Most of us live incredibly busy and stressful lives and probably do not think we have the time to invest in ourselves to become more balanced human beings, in the way we would ideally like. If you have any sort of work, family and social life, the demands of these gifts become our life, rather than the enjoyment or appreciation of them. Invariably, these demands take over; work, deadlines, children, school pick-ups, late-nights, politics of complicated and intricate relationships and the need for money, sleep and energy all prohibit finding better ways of making them work, let alone enjoying and appreciating them properly. And let alone enjoying and appreciating yourself…
…maybe it’s worse than that? Maybe you’re lonely, in debt, in an exhausting job, a draining relationship, or unemployed, unappreciated and unsure of what on earth you can do about it; under such trying circumstances, feelings and finding the spare time to focus on how you may feel – or how to feel better – would be the very last thought that may preoccupy your mind! In fact if such a thought found the light of day it would be either because it was in a dream or said as a joke, since daily life resembles hell’s fire: a fight even to survive.
When the New Year comes around, the motivation to attend to your life and set some new life goals is sometimes forced, but nonetheless might often be the only time we think about self-improvement and/or attempt to commit to it. But mostly this annual pressure leads to failure and February rolls up with nothing to show for it than the guilt that we haven’t been able to stick to our goals, which induces even further stress, because we really, really wanted to, this time! So what could have possibly gone wrong?
We begin to question whether we have been realistic.
Before starting did we work out what the real issues are? Are we fixing the right issues, in the right way? If we feel that our new year resolution did not achieve the goals we hoped for, then was it our motivation that failed us or was it our lack of preparation to ensure its success which did?
A Zen proverb says: “You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.”
It seems fitting that those with the least amount of time in their lives, are often the most in need of it. So, as the proverb goes, if you feel you have no time, you need more than anyone, to find some. But how?
Please note that no matter what might be happening in your life at present, wherever you are, however you are feeling and whatever you are doing (or not doing), you are already good enough. Everything you have experienced, everything you have suffered, everything you have fought for, whether you have won or lost, everything that you feel has passed you by, every pain, every loss and every struggle is exactly what you have chosen for yourself on this earth, and where you are in your journey, is exactly where you should be. And not only are you good enough, but you are already equipped in your life with all the tools from family, friends, situations, circumstances and lessons to teach you and give you access to the necessary information and resources you will need for this life and because there is no other place you can be but here, welcome to now! And well done!
While you might want to achieve more, lose weight, get fit, stop drinking, stop smoking, change more, create more and do more, or stop yourself feeling stressed, hassled or depressed, you could start to manifest the changes you want in yourself and in your life with a very small and simple first step: accepting where, how and what you may perceive as yourself in the present moment, with one thought that you and everything in your universe is perfectly good enough and exactly as it should be. Your increased awareness towards the operational mechanics of your daily life will not change or influence the path of your fated and destined events; awareness will simply give you control to direct those events exactly to where they need to be for a more thrilling life ride on your way to fulfilling your destiny.
Crazily busy days actually do have tiny pockets of time you can snatch back for yourself if you hunt them down: a minute while standing on a stuffed tube, two minutes on the loo at work, the last five minutes of the day before you fall asleep or first thing in the morning as you are waking up, brushing your teeth or walking out the door. Take a deep breath in for five counts, and as you breathe out for another five counts, say it in your mind: I am exactly where I wish to be. I accept where I am. I intend to evolve into the person I am destined to be.
Try that for a week or two, as many times a day as you can claw back from the affray, until you feel comfortable with it. Try to progress, in a while, to setting your alarm ten minutes earlier every morning, so you have staked those ten minutes out to be your very own. Find a sacred space and mark your territory from the kids and the laptop, and try a simple breathing exercise to align yourself with your best possible day. It is only ten minutes. Try five if even ten is too long. You can choose your own intention to say to yourself – what would you like to manifest? Repeat a short, positive intention within your mind while breathing deeply. For five to ten consistent minutes, then at any other point in the day you can grab.
But start there, and start easy. Be gentle with yourself and realise, by repetition, that you are already good enough. Always remember that you can not change the habits of a lifetime for the rest of the year, let alone the rest of your life, in a single, gloomy month, when all you really want to do is curl up in bed with a cup of tea. Do that instead and repeat to yourself, while you drink it, that you are already good enough and “I intend to evolve into the person I am destined to be.”
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“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”